When the going gets tough

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
(Matthew 11:28-30 - NIVUK)

I’ve had a couple of less than ideal days recently.
 
I’m starting a Data Science internship this week and I’m pretty stressed about it, feeling like I know nothing and will be a liability to the people who trusted me enough to give me the job. Yes, impostor syndrome is a thing …
 
I’m also worried about finances as I’ve not been in full-time, permanent employment for almost a year now. God has provided in miraculous ways, as he has always done, but my faith is small and forgetful …
 
Our car was broken into last week and my wife’s work laptop stolen. Though we are insured, the insurance doesn’t cover window/windscreen replacement. Yes, we saved a couple of pounds by not adding that cover to our insurance, but probably not as much as it costs to replace the rear windscreen. If only we had known …
 
I’ve also had some health issues in recent months. Nothing too serious, but just enough to keep niggling away at the back of my mind. Yes, the NHS is amazing!
 
Now, I know and trust that God is good and faithful, that he is here with me in the thick of worries and troubles, and that he will never leave me or forsake me. I am grateful to him for this truth and for being reminded of this truth. However, I still feel like I want to go and sit on his lap, crying my eyes out and leaving a snotty mess on his shirt. I still feel vulnerable and fearful. I still feel like Peter must have felt when he started sinking straight after WALKING ON WATER (Matthew 14:30)! I feel like I need help.
 
And the really amazing and comforting truth is that God welcomes me with all these feelings (whether they are valid or not) and invites me to come to him as I am. Just like he did with the kids when the disciples tried to shoo them away (Luke 18:15-17). And just like he did with grown-ups in Matthew 11:28-30.
 
Thank God that we don’t have to earn our way onto Christ’s lap to receive his comfort. Jesus opened the way for us to come as we are when he died on the cross and the temple veil was torn to bits. Nothing can get in the way of us going to Jesus anymore.
 
It reminds me of what CS Lewis wrote in Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer - 

“We must lay before him what is in us; not what ought to be in us.”

 Are you feeling sad? Bring your sadness. Are you feeling outraged? Bring your anger. Are you feeling tired? Lay your weariness at his feet. Are you feeling joyful? Come celebrate with him! Are you feeling lonely? Come and be loved by the One who knows you by name.
 
Nothing is off limits. Nothing is too scary for him. Nothing will shock him. Nothing will make him love you less. Come to Christ as you are.
 
A prayer - Lord Jesus, thank you for your mercy. Thank you that you made a way to come to you. Thank you that I don’t have to earn my way to you. I come to you now, as I am, and ask that you will help me and speak to me, that I may know you more and love you better. Amen.
 
Photo by Amer Mughawish on Unsplash